Tuesday, February 21, 2006

How to enforce the smoking ban

A novel way suggested by Charlie Brookes: Snipers

My own personal idea, to get rid of smoking completely, which is slightly counterproductive since I smoke, would be to replace all cigarettes with those chocolate ones that you could buy as a kid (in the days before chocolate cigarettes were considered bad for kids health)

But then you would have more fatness, and would need to replace the chocolate cigs with something else. Perhaps celery, but then it would stick in ex smokers, who in turn are now fatties, teeth, and dentists wouldn’t be able to cope getting the silly stick string out of peoples fillings. Then all NHS dentists would go private and we would all pay more, and the government of the day would be relieved of office because it wanted to ban smoking which in turn made smokers fatter, not fitter, who then had less healthy teeth by eating a healthy food.

This is one of the real dilemmas of 21st century.

Liking Charlie’s fag packet warning idea:

Let's change the warnings on the packs while we're about it. None of this wussy "Smoking Causes Cancer" nonsense. Just a sniper, in silhouette, and the words "HE IS WATCHING".

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