Lifes Windows

On why he's no Celeb and what the freedom of Preston means to him:

I'm ugly, I'm over-weight - but I am happy. I'd never make a decent celebrity. What's most exciting about winning the Ashes is it means I'll be awarded the freedom of Preston, my hometown. That means I can drive a flock of sheep through the town centre, drink for free in no less than 64 pubs and get a lift home with the police when I become inebriated - what more could you want?

Well Andrew, you probably are a celebrity now. Whatever you do, don't let Hello! or OK! Magazine into your house. And Max Clifford stop telling us how much money newly famous people can make. He's always wheeled out on occasions like this for a dour sound bite. He needs to be in just for men adverts instead.

Footballers would never say such things as Flintoff did. Too image conscious and cocooned from the real world. Which is what is refreshing about the England Ashes squad, they appear to be normal blokes.

Footballers rarely have anything Insightful, Interesting, funny or original to say. Instead you get a stream of clichés, platitudes, pointing out the obvious, ughhs, various grunts, you knows, made up, at the end of the day etc. It's like listening to moronic pre-programmed robots. Is this the dividend players media training brings? Shut ye traps.