Lifes Windows

My new home

2006-10-25T16:14:00.000Z

Come, join me

http://www.lifeswindows.blog-city.com/

Should I stay or should I go?

2006-09-04T20:48:00.000Z

Thinking of re-starting this blog someplace else. Not sure though? Tried a few others, they wound me up. However it seems my vanity will be better served on these other sites, as no one in the world looks at this blog. Sitemeter makes depressing reading, and I'm not being modest.

Blogger is easier to use, but I don't know what I am doing with all these feedburners etc, it's there but it doesn't help with anything, neither does ping-o-matic etc.

So if anyone reads this can you suggest another software, or should I stick with this?

Burp

2006-07-19T11:42:00.000Z

Pardon me.

Prose to impress the ladies

2006-05-25T14:34:00.000Z

Spotted this "About me" blurb from a blog. I am jealous, no wonder the females don't like me. If only I could write letters to them like this, the paper scented with my Old Spice aftershave:

my love u feel my warmth...live by my breath..see through my eyes love me without fear ....without complex...let me sleep between ur arms like child...to feel in ur tranquility....ur longing...u r my jewel ...u r my start and my end..cause i live just for u ...i hatred u ...u far from me...i worship u...u have my heart i miss ur sea eyes and ur heart purity how i can dalliance ur lips ...u r angel...if my love for u price my life i will be ready to pay my life let me feel on pleasure life through ur body ...to swim my tongue across my words tune up hill ur naked body....to enter ur heart through pleasure which we want togather cause u r my saint i look like candel burn to meet ur body ...blow out with ur love colness ...or make it light all world by ur body flam...when i invasion ur body that dont be enough ..cause i want to be inside u ...wear ur body..i want to be ur heart ..ur voice....i want to belong to ur valleys...ur gardens .....ur appetite volcano....u r my breath my dream......fire flam on ur body .....burn me ....but can u burn ash cause iam ur love ash

Stop that racket man

2006-05-22T16:39:00.000Z

Some fool is continually whistling in my office. Which annoys me greatly. For starters, it is impossible to discern what it is he be whistling, and further more it does not sound like music and is not befitting an office such as this. Just because he is banned from whistling at home, does not mean he should impose such noise on my eardrums. He has just left the office, and he is ginger to boot. One often finds these people, in general, (as generalisations are a valid), to be in possession of moody temperaments. Why so gingers?

Nothing more to add. I have had a lack of ideas lately. Someone give me something to write about and I will do it a great disservice.

Snookerers

2006-05-05T16:12:00.000Z

Dennis Taylor. Look at his funny glasess , ha ha!

He isn't my favourite snookerer. I'm not really a fan of men who hang out in dank and dark rooms playing with their balls.

Who is your favourite snookerer?

I laugh at windows

2006-05-02T15:59:00.000Z

It is funny to see a wasp or some other winged animal try to fly through a window. They think because it is see through, it is not there, even after pointless exertion trying to get through it. But we humans know it is there. It is funny to laugh at lesser life forms, until they sting or bite you and make you go to hospital and cry.

Then who’s laughing.

You won't get in unless you change the laws of matter, you foolish fiend. Away.

Goodbye Lenin

2006-04-25T10:59:00.000Z

Books read 2005: Pirates! And adventure with Scientists & Clash of the Civilizations by Samuel Hutingdon

2006-04-21T04:10:00.000Z

23. Pirates! An adventure with Scientists by Gideon Defoe (2004)

Mad little book which follows the adventure of a bunch of useless Pirates, who end up meeting Catholic foe Charles Darwin, it’s all very wacky and there is much hilarity. And it’s substantially shorter than war and peace.

24.Clash of the Civilizations by Samuel Hutingdon (1997)

Very prescient book considering recent events. Hopefully the hypothesis of the book is not correct, wouldn’t be very pleasant if it was. Quite depressing really. Think I didn’t even finish the last chapter. Can’t we all just be friends? Could this review be any less intelligent? Sounds like a care bear wrote it.

Books read 2005: The rise and fall of the Soviet Empire by Raymond Pearson & Rumours of a hurricane by Tim Lott

2006-04-20T16:09:00.000Z

21.The Rise and Fall of the Soviet Empire by Raymond Pearson (1997)

My favourite book about the USSR. Concise and very engagingly written. Focuses on the big events 56’ 68’ 80’ 91’, never thought about the fact that they were all 12 years apart, well except 91’ but you could say 92’ as that is when the USSR was properly wound up and no mas. No idea what I’m talking about? Ok. Nevermind.

22. Rumours Of A Hurricane by Tim Lott (2003)

A novel set around the Thatcher era, with the lives running parallel to it; Home ownership, greed, upward mobility, unemployment, fun stuff. Basically an indictment of that time as an uncaring selfish society. Very unsentimental ending, I wanted a happy ending. Guess there weren't many during her reign.

Despair

2006-04-20T10:46:00.000Z

Requisite cat picture blog entry

2006-04-18T21:35:00.000Z

Aww, lovely stuff.

80's pirate radio tapes and stuff

2006-04-17T17:56:00.000Z

Here. Listen to Tim Westwood being a polite sounding young man back in 1985, and lots of other stuff only saved because some guy taped the pirates radio stations with those funny things called cassettes.

George Bush in freefall

2006-04-15T18:57:00.000Z

Play this strangely theraputic game, such fun (Use the cursor to move him around):

Bush, balls and falling

"Ball of the century" plus more: Shane Warne's magic balls!

2006-04-14T05:12:00.000Z

Includes the infamous "Ball of the century" and the flared, hair transplanted, text addict making others look foolish; bowling them around the legs and nutmegging one or two them through the legs. You all wish Shane Warne was your roguish uncle. Salute.

The end of national security

2006-04-12T15:58:00.000Z

Father left a note last week which read;

"Tom, norton security has ended, what do we do?"

Which obviously on first viewing read; "Tom, national security has ended, what do we do?"

Build an underground bunker was my first thought.

Contrast 12/04/05 & 12/04/06

2006-04-12T11:09:00.000Z

That is me at this time exactly last year, jumping 134 metres (440 feet) off a cable cart with a piece of long rubber attached to my feet. Now exactly one year later I am sitting in an office scanning bits of paper. Brilliant.

Poor Freddie Gage

2006-04-11T15:23:00.000Z

Dan Brown or a Desert Island?

2006-04-10T14:18:00.000Z

Nice blazer Argos catalogue man

Whilst walking through my local WHSmiths an advertising board, full of Dan Brown books had the effrontery to announce; “If you haven’t read Dan Brown where have you been?” I was taken aback by the idiocy of this statement, and declined the invitation to buy one get one free, or BOGOF, as it was called during my wretched time in the retail industry.

Beneath this smarmy statement of foolish accusation lay a picture of a man wearing shorts on a raft in the sea, next to what looked like a tropical Island. You see very clever, if you haven’t read these terrible tomes, then you must have been on a desert island, get it. Quite frankly, this particular man is lucky to live in such beautiful climes and to not have to know about such rubbish, that is the Dan ‘Trying to look literary, by wearing a terrible blazer’ Brown industry. The choice is academic.

Anyway where have I been? I have been in a place called taste.

Dan Brown isn’t going to be accepted into the Literary Canon anytime soon, though it would be good to see him fired from one. But seeing how his tentacles are rapidly spreading, he would end up landing on that raft and pester that unassuming Island dweller to read his nincompoop novels, thus our choice is no more, you can have a desert Island, but you have to have Dan Brown.

I am judging a book by its cover here as well. Consensus of valued opinion tells me not to waste my time going past the covers.

I am off to read James Patterson, I have taste as I said before.

Devastatin Dave the turntable slave: Zip zap rap

2006-04-09T16:06:00.000Z

Comment superfluous. Be superflous in the comments.

Whatever happened to glue sniffing?

2006-04-07T00:05:00.000Z

I remember it being a big thing in the 80’s, I'm sure there were public safety adverts saying don’t sniff glue, though I don't vividly remember much from the 80's, as I was between the age of 0 and 9. Never really saw the appeal in sniffing the stuff myself. Perhaps because my experience with glue was confined to pritt stick, which I doubt was a sufficient strength to get high from. I used to chew felt tip pens instead, tangy.

Maybe aerosols have replaced glue; I imagine those of us who don’t fancy aerosol addiction can have a watered down taster version, where we just sniff our armpits after spraying them with pungent Lynx, those of us who think it’s sophisticated and not for 14 year olds.

If I sniffed glue, this is the glue I wolud sniff.

Peter Andre & Jordan: Are to class, what I am to maths

2006-04-06T10:45:00.000Z

They really are moving into the realms of self-parody. Disney world? They could do worse if they wanted to though. How about the bluewater shopping centre, or Madame Tussauds?

What do these two do nowadays to garner such press coverage? As far as I can tell Peter Andre’s lone talent was being able to rhythmically roll his abs to music (the six pack has since developed into a pork barrel) while Jordan is a walking advertisement for Silicone misuse. Not to mention the couples creosote tans. That’s talent.

I have come to believe in the virtuousness, healthiness and good taste of being pale. I am a pale, white Anglo-Saxon, I accept this (except when abroad when my paleness makes me “unique” and peer pressure and societal acceptance forces a feeble endeavour to turn just a bit brown, though I regret succumbing)

Tanning is tacky, and no, you don’t look exotic. Sophisticats.

Alcohol cloud is 463 billion kilometres long, wow!

2006-04-05T16:18:00.000Z

A big cloud of alcohol lies there, somewhere, can you spot it?
Space, the final frontbeer (All apologies)

PARIS (AFP) - Astronomers say they have spotted a cloud of alcohol in deep space that measures a bastard big 463 billion kilometres (288 billion miles) across, a finding that could keep the world dosed in free alcohol forever.

The vast bridge-shaped cloud of methyl Trampus (Special strength alcohol) has been spotted in a region of our galaxy, the Milky Way, that is called W3(OH), where stars are being formed by the gravitational collapse of concentrations of hops and barley, the discoverers said in a press release.

Methanol, an organic (carbon-based) molecule, is a cousin of ethanol, which is found in alcoholic beverages. Human beings love alcohol. This 463 billion KM long cloud is being toasted by drinkers throughout the land.

The cloud was spotted by astronomers based at Britain's Jodrell Bank Observatory led by Lisa Harvey-Smith. Their work was to be presented on Tuesday at a meeting in Leicester, central England, of the Royal Astronomical Society (RAS), but they got drunk and couldn't find the place.

In 2004, Special strength alcohol, also called methyl trampus, was spotted for the first time in one of the disk-like clusters that form around nascent stars.
That discovery opened up a new area of debate in astrophysics, challenging the conventional view that interstellar chemistry could not provide the conditions for creating complex alcoholic drinks, as they would be ripped apart by ultraviolent vagrants and other tough space cowboys.

Around 130 varieties of strong cider and lager have also been identified so far in outer space, fuelling speculation that these complex molecules may have helped to sow the seeds for life on the fledgling Earth.

The seeds of life sown in white lightning and special brew. What a game life is.

Read the unmolestered text here

Poker

2006-03-25T11:41:00.000Z

I know it may be advantageous, but don't people on late night poker look distincvively disturbing wearing black shades to hide their faces. Why hide your poker face behind some dodgy looking shades?

The Lynx effect

2006-03-24T19:20:00.000Z

Teachers bemoan curse of the 'Lynx effect'

The average 13-year-old lad doesn't realise it yet, but no amount of Lynx deodorant will get attractive women drooling over him. In fact they are more likely to throw open the window, gasping for air. Dozens of teachers have complained to the Times Educational Supplement online staffroom about the menace of the "Lynx effect" - teenage armpits doused in the stuff. Messages indicate that although the Lynx habit often starts in primary school, 13-year-olds are the worst culprits. The potent aroma even drives some staff to open windows when pupils return from PE, because they find it hard to breathe. One teacher commented: "My son is in Year 9, and reeks of the vile stuff. Is Year 9 when they discover girls?" Another in her early 20s wrote: "About a year ago I made my boyfriend stop using Lynx because he smelled like a Year 9. It took a bit of persuading."

Oh dear, I am 25 and I still wear Lynx. Shaming myself.

I wear quite expensive toilet water though.

Writers block

2006-03-24T11:43:00.000Z

Yes, that's what I have, even though the idea that I am a writer is debatable. I do write things down though, so that counts. Any ideas of what I can write about, I need help. Don't all rush at once with your suggestions.

Lost in Translation

2006-03-22T12:21:00.000Z

I wish that thoughts could be printed out from the head. So often I have what I think is a decent idea to write about, but it doesn't come out right. It gets lost in translation somewhere between the brain, the fingers and the keyboard.

A post about a dog, Bros and Karl Marx. Not tenuous links, as you may think

2006-03-15T20:09:00.000Z

For the last 16 years our darling dog, Tweed, has made it be known to me that she does not enjoy me going anywhere near her dinner. Sinister growling ahoy whenever i went near the substance she believes to be food. Those delicious lumps of tripe, yes Tweed, I was so interested in biting into that feast.

Anyway, even when she is not interested in her food (it dawning on her that what lies beneath her nose is perhaps not brilliant, but hey, defend whats yours, primal instinct) she would still a growl and grumble. But alas no more, in her old age she has given up, not bothered anymore. I stood by her food making growling noises in an attempt to tempt her to the food, grrrr and brrrr and one where i sort of stick my tongue out and, well its hard to explain, she just lay there looking, given up, the will for battle gone. After a brief time i looked around and she had walked to the kitchen, looking at me with a half hearted "do we have to keep up this charade?"expression. Well, no, but you started it.

When will I will I be famous?
I can't answer I can't answer that.
When will I see my picture in a blog?
Bros* "When will I be famous?" 1988

When you close your eyes and wish upon a bag of tripe.

*You may laugh at Bros, but I was only 8 when I liked them, and they had educational value. It was they who introduced me to a fella called Karl Marx;"You've read Karl Marx and you've taught yourself to dance" not that he's had any profound effect on me, and I don't think I ever learned to dance.

Guardian: In praise of the 'blogosphere'

2006-03-15T10:57:00.000Z

In praise of ... the blogosphere

The number of bloggers - people who write online journals - topped 30m this week, according to technorati.com, the search engine that monitors activity of this kind. This may give an exaggerated idea of the size of the global blogosphere because a lot of people have more than one website and others are inactive. But it does suggest that a milestone may have been passed and that blogging is graduating from being a minority sport to a mainstream activity.

Three factors are likely to ensure a continued surge in popularity. First, it is becoming ever easier to establish a blog, especially for those with broadband internet access. It takes barely two minutes to set one up if you decide on a unique password in advance. Second, the number of things you can do with them is growing fast because of the easy way photos, video clips and audio files can now be uploaded at the click of a mouse. It is possible to send a photo straight from a mobile phone to a blog with a single button press, adding text if necessary. Third, and most important, they are becoming politically and socially important as like-minded people around the world share thoughts and pictures and call decision-makers to task.

The more people join in the more powerful, and empowering, the network will become. Anyone with broadband can publish their own music, films, voice or words as well as being a passive participant. Suddenly the global village has its own continuous conversation.

I am a mere one of 30 million. A very small fish in a very big cyber sea.

Along with "podcast", "blogosphere" (these words always encased in quotation marks to pin their stupidity) is a word that should never be used. Not clever. "Look lots of blogs, like the atmosphere, vast etc, lets call it a blogosphere". Lets fuck off.

I agree with the Guardians sentiments, although the vanity of 30 million people is perhaps a greater point, than blog's social and political uses.

Pat Robertson pissed off

2006-03-13T10:39:00.000Z

"I don't like Jesus Christ, who is my Lord and saviour, being dunked in a vat of urine by a homosexual"
Pat Robertson

Cricket: India vs. England 2nd Test, gaaa!

2006-03-12T16:38:00.000Z

England in just a slight bit of trouble, an optimist speaks. 112-5, a lead of 75. A whole day left. Flintoff and Jones have to equal their first innings performances, though with it being a fifth day wicket, it looks an unlikely prospect. A lead of 200 would give the bowlers a chance, a small one. Hopefully Panesar can have a Kumble esque innings, we need him to, no pressure or anything.

And holy shit... Not really a fan of one day cricket, but Australia broke the world record for runs in an innings, by amassing 434. You'd think a world record would be enough to win the game? South Africa thought you were wrong, and very rudely broke the record straight away with 438, with only 1 ball and 1 wicket to spare. I will have to start acquiring an interest in the shorter game. Insane.

BBC Report

Something changed?

2006-03-12T13:58:00.000Z

Hmm?

Look at this weird shit, an inny or an outy?

2006-03-12T11:58:00.000Z

Cricket: India vs. England 2nd Test day 3, England nudging it

2006-03-11T21:35:00.000Z

All assumptions about the batter friendliness of the pitch seem to have been wide of the mark. We were told before both tests that England could ill afford scores of lower than 450, yet they have not reached those heights of batting prowess. Neither have the hosts. Either the wickets are not as tame as we were led to believe, or the bowlers are doing a sterling job sending men back to the pavilion.

Flintoff did get the big score that he was due, 70. And Jones put on 52, a much needed performance from the always under pressure keeper. England's 300 looked paltry, but India finished on 149-4. A very good performance by England's bowlers, with the wickets evenly distributed.

A result still unlikely, but if England can topple India early tomorrow, you never know.

Slobodan Milosevic found dead

2006-03-11T12:36:00.000Z

Former Yugoslav President Slobodan Milosevic has died in The Hague, radio reports and his lawyer says.

Steven Kay, Mr Milosevic's lawyer, told BBC News 24 that he had been found dead in his cell on Saturday morning.

BBC

A certain blogger and newspaper columnist will be most upset.

Kraftwerk

2006-03-11T11:55:00.000Z

From station to station
back to Dusseldorf City
Meet Iggy Pop and David Bowie
Trans-Europe Express

"They rarely give interviews, and when they do, they come with strings attached: one magazine which secured an audience with Hütter was informed that he would only discuss his collection of bicycles and that they were not allowed to even mention that he was a
member of Kraftwerk."

From an excellent and amusing article by Alexis Petri dish of the Guardian. Read it here, you will laugh, and the world will laugh at you.

Cricket: India vs. England 2nd Test, This second day of woe

2006-03-10T19:30:00.000Z

It is raining, what has become of the test match? To paraphrase Rolf Harris on Kate Bush's new album. 87 balls, 37 runs, 1 wicket and lots of rain and gloom, so very little.

Quite inconsiderate of the hosts to put on such bad, and some would say, typical British weather, depriving us of a game. Good really though if you are supporting England, as 200-5 on this wicket ain't too clever. Should be a draw, providing that England can put on another 100 or so.

Cricket: India vs. England 2nd Test, Day 1

2006-03-09T16:18:00.000Z

Pietersen on his way to 64, and being the scapegoat again

Confusion before the test as to what the wicket would do, Agnew said it would spin, Boycott said no need to play two spinners, rubbish idea. India picked three, England picked one. Matters were complicated by the groundsmen showing off two different wickets, not that I actually know which one they used.

Anyway England are in a precarious situation at 164-4, the consensus being that this is a 400 plus 1st Innings wicket. Over two hours lost to the weather didn’t help England’s batting gain any rhythm, but weather will do what it does. If one more wicket tumbles early tomorrow then England will have their work cut out to get close to 400. Collingwood will have to repeat his 1st test form, and Flintoff is due a big score I reckon.

Geraint Jones will be under pressure to do well with the bat in this innings, as he is already on the receiving end of a lot of big sticks for his wicketkeeping. A decent score would placate the critics somewhat, who think that if he’s not scoring, why is he in the team? I like watching Jones bat, very stylish; it would be good to see him do well tomorrow.

Pietersen hit 64, but will undoubtedly be criticised for his attacking style of play and not getting a bigger score on a decent wicket. This criticism for me is more to do with his brash personality and lack of batting decorum, rather than his performances. A scapegoat for all seasons, leave the formerly skunk hair do one be. The wagging finger of criticism would be better pointed in other player’s directions, namely Andrew Strauss. A player who struggled in Pakistan and is doing so here, yet his poor performances slip under the radar, and as such is immune from criticism.

A first day gallery of the men in whites playing the cricket from Cricinfo

Good day to you.

Don't drink Cider. Ever

2006-03-06T20:39:00.000Z

Don't do it. How can anyone drink this liquid? It's all very well at first, it even tasted quite nice. I like apples, but not fermented. This cider, Cheddar Valley, 6% strong, two pints and I was well on my way. Three pints of lager later and I had a scorching hammerhead the morning after, and the afternoon after and the evening. Playing football and heading the ball helped no end. I had to fester in goal after ten minutes, useless.

Recalled memories of being 15 years old and drinking the super filthy White Lightning, and falling over the sofa and breaking the video cabinet. And falling through the stair railings. And being sick, missing the toilet and the projectile muck hitting the wall. And the inevitable lecture the morning after. 'Alcohol use it, don't abuse it'. Wise words.

What type of pub only sells cider? It’s madness. Leave Cider drinking to the professionals: farmers, tramps and 15 year olds.

No mas.

"The colour of this unique cider give it a vibrant character all its own for those who want an alternative refreshing drink with a touch of natural sparkle"

Think I'll pass in future.

Cricket: England vs. India 1st Test

2006-03-05T22:50:00.000Z

On yer bike Tendulker, get out. Monty Panesar's first test wicket, none other than Mr Tendulkar

Third day,an enthralling game, pity I can't watch it. But cricket can be enjoyed in all forms of media, Internet, Audio as well as the visual medium. Plus Sky's cricket coverage is just the pants. Though Atherton is a welcome addition to the natterin' box.

Being a superstitious kind of a fellow, my early morning ritual over the last few days has brought good news. Wake,7:30am, turn on BBC1, bring up teletext, page 350 check the score. Day 1 England 72-1, good start. Day 2, after being 246-7, I look at the live score 391-9, what!? Dreams, the fine line between dreaming and reality, a matter of a few minutes, that altered state of consciousness, but no this be the real deal (I was drunk when I wrote that). Day 3 India 190-7, what!? Ok, things leveled off when I arrived at work each day, but those early morning surprises make me feel I should wake and check at 7:30am tomorrow, but the bottle of wine in my system suggests otherwise. It is a weekend, and I am a lush.

Another hunch, premonition, call it what you will; but I thought Monty's first test wicket would be Tendulkar LBW. Though I had Sachin out on 143, not 16. Just saw Monty's last wicket, and what a ball it was. In my opinion maybe as good as Warne's ball of the century back in '93, it looked as good aesthetically.

As for those who doubt the mobility and athleticism, there has been many a picture of Monty 3 feet and rising off the ground.

Cue pun fun in the tabloids, headlines so obvious there is no need to write them here.

I am rich

2006-03-04T09:15:00.000Z

According to this Global rich list, I am in the top 10.53% of the worlds most wealthy people.

There are 5,367,673,738 people less well off than me, puts things into perspective. But don't ask me for a loan or anything.

The slow walk to democracy?

2006-03-03T10:53:00.000Z

Is technology precipitating the eventual arrival of democracy in China? Article in the Guardian a week or so a go (can't find it now) points out that there is growing dissent in China not seen since the 80’s, fuelled by the Internet. Although the authorities are assiduously - shamefully with the help of American search engines - trying to block out dissenting voices, they will continue to get through. Technology cannot be tamed and curtailed indefinitely. It helped play a role in the undermining of the USSR political system and will likely do the same to the Chinese Politburo over time.

Articles such as this give thought to democracy, when, not if. With Chinas economy continuing to grow at a substantial rate, with it likely to be the most powerful country in the world in the 20/30 years time, it would be better for us all if Democracy popped its head through to say, evenin’.

Does increased personal wealth plus burgeoning technology (Internet), which leads to freer dissemination of information (dissent, protest etc) equal the eventuality of democratic process, even if 20 years or more away? Or are there other cultural factors that may negate a desire to change the status quo?

England Cricket: Me, Nostradamus

2006-03-02T00:54:00.000Z

England lined up exactly as I predicted, no, suggested they would. Wish I had put money on that, might have won a pound. I think this validates my cricket expertise now.

Oh the Test, England 246-7 at stumps on day one recovered very well on day two, finishing 393 all out, with a maiden century from Collingwood proving what a good player he is turning out to be on the subcontinent. His last three innings there have all reaped 50+ runs. Hard to see how he will be budged from the Test side now.

Panesar qualmed fears about his perceived batting inadequacies by displaying a cautious defense which showed that he can hold up an end in a Hoggardesque fashion, which allowed Collingwood to get the runs at the other, to notch his first test century.

Collingwood having just batted himself into Test permanency?

George Galloway: The publishing of very offensive cartoons was worse than the attacks of 9/11 and 7/7

2006-03-01T14:06:00.000Z

Apparently Mr Galloway believes that if he is interviewed in far away places, this time Algeria, no one back home will pick up on the things he says. Unfortunately for him the BBC world service’s tentacles are far reaching:

Halimi: Mr Galloway! Let us deal with the core of the issue immediately. What is your personal position and that of your party towards the events and the demonstrations which have been taking place in the Muslim world against the publication of cartoons depicting the prophet?
...
Galloway: Personally, I condemn these barbaric and evil acts. Today, the objective of the Western states is to control the oil of the Muslims whatever the price. In fact, the cartoons published in Denmark did not surprise me because the Western states have been waging fierce attacks against Islam for years. These began by humiliation, insults and then occupation. Today they reached the point of ridiculing the prophet. This incident is worse than the 11 September attacks in the US and the 7/7 incidents in London. Therefore, today it is the right of Muslims to express their anger and to defend their right and faith

Credit to Harry’s place, full post here

So freedom of speech, no matter how offensive, is a greater evil than the killing of several thousand people in New York, and the deaths of 50 plus people in London?

And to think I felt just ever so slightly sympathetic towards him when he was in the Big Brother house. What a fool I was, and what a tool he is.

England Cricket: My inexpert advice for the 1st Test line up

2006-02-28T15:12:00.000Z

My England line up for the first test:

Strauss
Cook
Bell
Collingwood
Pietersen
Flintoff
G. Jones
Blackwell
Hoggard
Harmison
Panesar

Lets jump right in.

A lot of positive words are spoken about Cook, and he hit a double century against the Aussies for Essex in a tour game last summer, so that bodes well for the team. And he’s only 21, so it’s a good opportunity to see the potential he has, let’s look positively at this shall we? Strauss needs to hit the ball with the bat to the right places more on this tour.

Bell and Collingwood both did very well in Pakistan, and their patient, more measured approach will serve them and the team well on the Indian wickets. The only quandary I have here is in what order to play them. Do you play them together, in hope they can build a good score together and occupy the crease for a long period, which will give Pietersen and Flintoff more license to play a bit more freely later on? Or do you mix them up with the latter two? For example Bell, Pietersen, Collingwood, Flintoff? So you have at one end the more patient player slowly accumulating runs, and at the other end the more flamboyant and free scoring player? Tough call.

I would play two spinners, as the consensus is that the wicket is going to turn, though how well Blackwell and Panesar will turn the ball is a matter to be seen in due course. Blackwell has earned his spot with his performances with bat and ball in the warm up games and can fill the Giles role (hopefully)

Monty has been one of England’s most economical bowlers thus far, and has taken a few wickets. I don’t see the point of playing Udal, as he hasn’t featured in the warm up games, and England need to look to the future and develop a specialist spinner for the test side. Panesar is young and can develop further (not least his batting and fielding), so throw him in at the deeper end of the proverbial pool.

An arduous series awaits, lets keep our knees crossed.

England cricket: Disarray the word of the day

2006-02-27T16:23:00.000Z

Not only is Vaughan flying home with an injured knee, but now Simon Jones, the 9th sexiest man in the world, and reverse swing specialist will be joining him (injured knee also) on what one would imagine to be quite a miserable flight back to the motherland.

Add to that Trescothick going home for personal reasons, Pietersen and Collingwood both having sore backs and a good dose of the runs for several others, and things don't look too ship shape.

Better to see the glass as a quarter full rather than three quarters empty.

Vaughan and Jones returning home

Stop...Hammer time

2006-02-27T12:05:00.000Z

Former big unruly trouser wearing light entertainment legend has his own blog:

MC Hammer

Not a bad writer, lots of God talk though, doesn't do a lot for my secular self. The man be deep when pondering the question of love. Socrates.

OKCupid! Politics Test

2006-02-25T17:33:00.000Z

What's love got to do with politics? Nothing.

You are a
Social Liberal
(70% permissive)

and an...
Economic Liberal
(30% permissive)

You are best described as a:

Democrat

Link: The Politics Test on OkCupid Free Online Dating
Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

I am Hillary Clinton, my name, "you" is on her head on the bit that doesn't show up here. I'd agree with these results, it's better than most tests, which say I am a vanquished far left relic.

Some frequent words in my blog, collage thing

2006-02-24T20:11:00.000Z

Trying to sell T shirts with the collage on, well everyone has to put food on the table don't they? (though one could eat out) Like the idea, not sure if I want a T-shirt with my blogs most frequently used words on it though. Unless it was four letter expletives, then we be talking, handing over the cash. The shock of the faces looking at my chest, yeah explicit. Donuts.
Link

Look a map, with places I've been marked in a Soviet red , wow!

2006-02-24T10:55:00.000Z

United Kingdom: Where I am fortunate enough to live
France: 18 times or so, the family holiday of choice, between 1981-1999
Germany: 1993, the hottest place I've ever been, yeah doesn't sound right, but fact.
USA: April 1995 & August 1997
Thailand: The airport, April 2005
New Zealand: South Island, April 2005
Australia: East Coast, April/May 2005
Singapore: The airport, do airports count as countries visited? May 2005
Finland: December 2005

create your own visited countries map
or vertaling Duits Nederlands

Ye old wind bag

2006-02-23T14:14:00.000Z

From the Guardian:

Lord Kinnock, the former Labour leader, will today join the former deputy prime minister Lord Howe and the Liberal Democrats' Lord Taverne in a campaign to persuade the nation of the joys of the kilometre.

In a manifesto published today, the UK Metric Association will say…how intensely boring they are, and wear wacky novelty ties to show that they have a fun side, it's not all serious this kilometre business.

No one in this land over 20 years of age has a clue what the real value of a Kilometre is. 67km to London anyone? Yeah, no idea.

Kilometres are rubbish, and so are metres for measuring people. When I see height displayed in metres it’s meaningless to me. 1.62 m? Are you a midget or a giant? Am I a Luddite?

Anyway this campaign is a big waste of time by some old time wasters with nothing better to do, who have woken up from their slumber in the Lords to jump on a bandwagon that is short of passengers. I can’t believe I am wasting my fingers and brain cells on this.

Kinnock says that signs with miles on them:

contradict the image - and the reality - of our country as a modern, multicultural, dynamic place where the past is valued and respected and the future is approached with creativity and confidence

I’d say there’s an argument that the House of Lords is more of a contradiction to our societies dynamism, multiculturalism and modernity, Mr Kinnock, sorry Lord. (You did help drag the Labour party away from the loons though, credit where it is due)

Blogs that like to watch

2006-02-23T10:33:00.000Z

These really annoy me, oh very much so. There is something very pompous and self important about people who deem it necessary to set up a blog who’s sole purpose it to watch over a website, person or journalist. Sort of reminds me of the over zealous neighbourhood watch leader on the third series of Little Britain. You know the sort; “I’ve got my eye on you.” Fair enough if the owner of said blogs are looking for contradictions and hypocrisy in a persons work, but to me they are a way for people to draw attention to themselves, “look, look at me, I’m a purveyor of freedom and truth, I’ll catch them out etc blah”, and because you are guaranteed an audience if you start devoting your life to criticising a blog (why didn’t I think of that?)

Anyway, the logical conclusion for the genre of watching blogs is for there to be a watch watch. Where a blog watches a watch tick all day, to see if it’s ticking in an ideologically consistent way. Or it could chart the changes in watchmaking from day to day. Do interviews with G Shock watches, then run over them in a big 4x4, perhaps TimWestwoods absurd van, replete with his face painted on the bonnet, to see if they still work. Goodone.

I just can’t be doing with people who comment on watching blogs either.

Smoking warning labels: The sniper warning issue further explored

2006-02-22T14:21:00.000Z

Carrying on an idea that Mr Brooker has probably long forgot may seem like a redundant exercise, but who wants entropy, when you can slip into the easy and comfortable armchair of redundancy? I hope work don't make me redundant though.

Right warning label ideas:

This one, in black and white. Outdoor setting not really appropriate for indoor snipering, but that’s just tedious details. Warning could be: "Sniper seeks smoker who doesn't respect the law, don't let it be you" in the style of a lonely hearts advert.

I like this one best. You’d have to remove the website though. Don’t want to advertise a lunatic gun website on a packet of fags. Makes it seem as if guns are ok, they are not. Except for sniping smokers who break rules, there is a distinction. Look at his mean and scary face, grrrrr! You’d shit yourself if you ran in to him armed or unarmed, or with him having no arms. Or just laugh down the barrel of his gun at his ridiculous beard and wifebeater vest, then run off. Notice the subtle eliding of guns with American constitutional rights, the stars and stripes waving at you in the background.

How to enforce the smoking ban

2006-02-21T14:39:00.000Z

A novel way suggested by Charlie Brookes: Snipers

My own personal idea, to get rid of smoking completely, which is slightly counterproductive since I smoke, would be to replace all cigarettes with those chocolate ones that you could buy as a kid (in the days before chocolate cigarettes were considered bad for kids health)

But then you would have more fatness, and would need to replace the chocolate cigs with something else. Perhaps celery, but then it would stick in ex smokers, who in turn are now fatties, teeth, and dentists wouldn’t be able to cope getting the silly stick string out of peoples fillings. Then all NHS dentists would go private and we would all pay more, and the government of the day would be relieved of office because it wanted to ban smoking which in turn made smokers fatter, not fitter, who then had less healthy teeth by eating a healthy food.

This is one of the real dilemmas of 21st century.

Liking Charlie’s fag packet warning idea:

Let's change the warnings on the packs while we're about it. None of this wussy "Smoking Causes Cancer" nonsense. Just a sniper, in silhouette, and the words "HE IS WATCHING".

Books read 2005: Colussus by Niall Ferguson & Better or Worse? by Polly Toynbee and Peter Walker

2006-02-21T10:21:00.000Z

19.Colussus by Niall Ferguson (2005)

Ferguson argues that America isn't really an empire, in a true sense. For example the US has never usually been arsed to stick around after its wars, to nation build, though this administration has shown signs of that in Iraq. He thinks America should be more imperialistic, not less, empire is good for us and the world. Interesting at times, dry and Jacob cracker like at others.

20.Better or Worse? by Polly Toynbee and Peter Walker (2005)

Labour has delivered in its second term according to these two, who use statistics to show that largely Labour has improved the lot of society in many ways. Many will find it hard to concur with this belief, Lies, damned lies, and statistics and all of that, but if you don’t believe these statistics are indicative of improvement, what do you measure improvement by? Anecdote, personal experience?

If you want an audit of Labours second term in power this is a good book to browse through. Though not ideal for reading in one go, too dry, no real narrative, politics are more interesting than policy. It’s not Alan Clark or anything, but it would be fun if he had written this book.

Football racism and hooliganism, the "European disease"

2006-02-20T11:10:00.000Z

Excellent article in today’s Guardian by Simon Jordan, praising the efforts of English football in stamping out racism and hooliganism.

What was always considered the "English disease" appears to now be more a European one. I don't recall seeing swastikas at Highbury, or hearing monkey chants, en masse, directed at black players. As usual though, these things are forever associated with our island, and Uefa seem to think the problem in Europe isn't that bad. Surprise.

Read it here: "Someone tell Uefa racism is not an English disease"

Holiday

2006-02-19T00:30:00.000Z

I have been on holiday the last few weeks, hence the lack of posts.

I could have said that, or told the truth; which is that I haven't been arsed to update lately even though there is lots I want to write about. Just can't be arsed, you dig?

It only seems fitting that I leave you (for now) with a lyric from the poet laureate Ghostface Killah:

"Supercalifragalisticexpialidocious/ Dociousaliexpifragalisticcalisuper/ Cancun, catch me in the room, eatin' grouper" Indeed.

Drinking Martini at the moment. Never before drank this pseudo sophisticat rubbish, but it is quite ok, even though I am diluting it with water.

My policy with spirits - the drinking sort - is to mix only with water, yet this is only 15% proof, so I can hardly have reasonable reason to mix it with water. I have done so though. And it is not bottle water from a French field in the valleys of the Loire, but lovely tap water from the West Midlands off all places.

I want to be in Cancun, eating Grouper.

This is Cancun, I think it to be in Mexico.

Don't throw slippers at judges in India

2006-02-13T14:52:00.000Z

From Yahoo! uk news:

An Indian judge has sentenced a robber to a life sentence in jail for hurling a slipper at him.

Judge Gongale was quick to duck when Rajkumar Sharma threw his slipper at him.

The 19-year-old appeared before the judge in Mumbai on a charge of robbing an auto rickshaw driver of £5.

Senior lawyer Mahesh Jethmalani said: "The punishment is excessive but the accused's conduct is unpardonable."

Books read 2005: My Life by Bill Clinton & Free World by Timothy Garton Ash

2006-02-09T23:59:00.000Z

17.My Life by Bill Clinton (2004)

Book far too long, yet very readable and engaging. It’s excessive, it waffles, but you can’t help liking it, despite its many flaws, much like the man himself.

18.Free World by Timothy Garton Ash (2005)

Optimistic, to describe it in one word. And that's no bad thing in this current cynical age. We can bridge the divide between Europe and America, and do a lot of other things that will help the world. Tim thinks so. And it's good to read a current affairs book that isn't dull and a chore to read. It's also free of dogma, and obvious, lazy criticism that any idiot can make.

Edited extract from the Guardian here

Help

2006-02-07T12:27:00.000Z

This man is in a box, but I can't get his foolish words out of my head. Help.

Yes, I have the great misfortune of having the jazzed up version of Leo Sayer's song "Thunder in my heart" continually playing in my head. A lamentable state of affairs, why not Hey Jude or London calling?

Some foolish DJ with an equally foolish name, Meck, stumbled across the original in a second hand record shop. Mr Meck, it was probably there because it's owner deemed it to be crap, and not fit for human ears. Yet you sir, have decided to give a new lease of life to this vestige of 70's disco disaster. Meck claims: "Lyrically it is so heartfelt and angst-ridden." Mr You make me feel like dancing will now be seen in a new light. Here are the main lyrics for those who wish to join me in my head:

"I feel a thunder in my heart/where it comes from I just don't know/oh no, oh no/there's a storm ragin' deep in my soul/there's a howlin' wind that I just can't control/there's a fire inside me I can't explain/every time you touch me my love falls like rain."

Ivor Novella material.

Best opening lines

2006-02-06T11:46:00.000Z

The best opening lines to novels according to Litline. The list is here.

The best opening line to a novel, which is not on the list is "And a shot rang out" Kingsley Amis thought so, and said he would never read another book that did not open in this fashion.

Some of the best, are here, underneath these words:

A screaming comes across the sky. —Thomas Pynchon, Gravity's Rainbow (1973)

It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen. —George Orwell, 1984

Someone must have slandered Josef K., for one morning, without having done anything truly wrong, he was arrested. —Franz Kafka, The Trial (1925)

It was a wrong number that started it, the telephone ringing three times in the dead of night, and the voice on the other end asking for someone he was not. —Paul Auster, City of Glass (1985)

The moment one learns English, complications set in. —Felipe Alfau, Chromos (1990)

It was the day my grandmother exploded. —Iain M. Banks, The Crow Road (1992)

The past is a foreign country; they do things differently there. —L. P. Hartley, The Go-Between (1953)

I write this sitting in the kitchen sink. —Dodie Smith, I Capture the Castle (1948)

Books read 2005: High Rise by JG Ballard & Orwells Victory by Christopher Hicthens

2006-02-01T11:59:00.000Z

15.High Rise by JG Ballard (1975)

Review here. My first and maybe last book review.

16.Orwells Victory by Christopher Hicthens (2002)

Hitchens defends Orwell against those on the left and right who have used, and attacked him, for their own ends. I’d rather read Orwell’s books myself. They can defend him and in their own right.

Books read 2005: An Artist of the Floating World by Kazuo Ishiguro & The Consolations of Philosophy by Alain De Botton

2006-01-31T16:25:00.000Z

13.An Artist of the Floating World by Kazuo Ishiguro (1986)

Very spare use of language. Unassuming, understated novel about a Japanese artist’s guilt at his involvement in WW2. Really gets going after the first 70 pages or so. A Must read.

14.The Consolations of Philosophy by Alain De Botton (2000)

Philosophy for beginners. Shows us how it relates to our lives and how it can console us. User friendly. Especially for those of us lacking mental acumen who have trouble keeping awake reading it, and who think life is to short to get too involved with it.

Books read 2005: L!ve TV by Chris Horrie & Adam Nathan & 1968 by Mark Kulansky

2006-01-30T14:48:00.000Z

11.L!ve TV by Chris Horrie & Adam Nathan (1999)

The funniest book I’ve ever read. A hilarious look back at the farce that was Live TV! A good history of the satellite and cable television industry fits in around the humour. My copy now resides in a porno book shop in Australia, as the person I lent it to decided not to bring it back, thanks.

Virtually impossible to obtain it's Sister book charting the Sun newspaper in the 80’s, unless you want to pay 50 quid for a tatty second hand copy.

12.1968 by Mark Kulansky (2005)

Review of the eventful year that was1968, focusing on the big events: Martin Luther King, Prague Spring, Olympics, Vietnam, Bobby Kennedy, French student riots, US riots, lots of riots. Lots of fun.

Books read 2005: Common Sense by Thomas Paine & The State We’re In by Will Hutton

2006-01-29T17:03:00.000Z

9.Common Sense by Thomas Paine (1776)

The argument for American Independence. Not much fun to be had here.

10.The State We’re In by Will Hutton (1994)

Unless you like and understand Economics, this is very hard going, and dull. A real chore to read.

Books read 2005: Plan of attack by Bob Woodward & The Natural: The Misunderstood Presidency of Bill Clinton by Joe Klein

2006-01-28T14:03:00.000Z

7.Plan of Attack by Bob Woodward (2004)

What should have been a fascinating read is badly written and the narrative is dull. Should have been gripping, it was pedestrian. Lots of insights into the build up to the Iraq war though, from the horse’s mouths.

8.The Natural: The Misunderstood Presidency of Bill Clinton by Joe Klein

Excellent little biography on Bill Clinton and his two eventful terms in office. Very well written and engaging. One to be read again, and better than Clinton's autobiography.

Books read 2005: The End of History and the Last Man by Francis Fukuyama & One of Us by Hugo Young

2006-01-27T14:05:00.000Z

5.The End of History and the Last Man by Francis Fukuyama (1992)

Proposes that we have reached the “end of history”, the end of ideological differences. The winner, Liberal democracy and capitalism. Interesting, controversial, and bit of a difficult read, but worth persevering with.

6.One of Us by Hugo Young (1991)

The best biography of Thatcher. Well written and balanced, not a hatchet job nor a hagiography. On a second reading it is quite sympathetic to a lot she did, while also pointing out the costs of her “revolution”.

Books read 2005: The Wind up Bird Chronicle by Haruki Murakami & Amsterdam by Ian McEwan

2006-01-26T11:07:00.000Z

3.The Wind up Bird Chronicle by Haruki Murakami (1994)

Brilliant, mystical and elliptical novel. Bizarre and very engrossing. Murakami must be one the best novelists in the world today. I recommend reading this while listening to “Leftism” by Leftfield. It makes sense. Good reading music. Music with too many vocals is a distraction whilst reading is it not?

4.Amsterdam by Ian McEwan(1998)

Booker prizewinner. Very clever, well written and readable, like most McEwans work.

Books read 2005: "Money" & "Blair in his own words"

2006-01-25T14:03:00.000Z

1.Money by Martin Amis (1986)

Amis’s finest novel. 80’s excess in all its vulgar glory. New York and London are well rendered, and the parodies of faded Hollywood stars are very funny.

After reading Amis most other books writing styles seem a bit dour and pedestrian. Regardless of criticisms concerning the lack of plot, style over substance debates etc, no one can deny his ability to write very well.

2.Tony Blair in his own words edited by Paul Richards (2004)

A collection of Blair’s speeches and articles, largely avoiding the ones written for him that go to The Sun and other newspapers. A good reference to chart how his views and beliefs have progressed since entering parliament. The early work is the most interesting. The Murdoch lecture in Australia is a fascinating look at the ills of the Labour party circa 1982, and what needed to change. Perhaps the seed of New Labour was planted here. A book for political trainspotters. I don't think I am one though, I'm not that bad.

7/7 challenge thing

2006-01-23T15:45:00.000Z

I don't normally do these things (I lie) so here it goes, wither the soul, wither it goes. Always wanted to write that, no idea why:

7 things to do before I die:

1. Jump out of a plane, with a parachute.
2. Visit lots of Eastern European, former communist cities and See Lenin’s Tomb. And have a laugh at a bad idea badly executed, Communism - not the tomb, that's quite a good idea - while still thinking it might be fun to live under it for a few days.
3. Find some purpose. And motivation. And ambition.
4. Be more attractive to the opposite sex, without plastic surgery.
5. Write three novels, and win the Booker prize three times, then get a job on a building site.
6. To never take politics too seriously and become a pompous bore.
7. To read Ulysses for a laugh, or in order to impress some dullard who might think I am clever, wrong.

7 things I cannot do:

1. Eat cheese that is uncooked, it is wrong, so severely so.
2. Like Marcus Bentley’s voice (Narrator of Big Brother)
3. Like Madonna.
4. Mathematics, even basic level stuff.
5. Read the Daily Mail without throwing it on the fire after 3 pages.
6. Not laugh at people who like Celine Dion/Westlife etc.
7. Play Badminton. The cockleshutt or whatever it's called is not right, sports need balls not odd looking plastic things, yeah.

7 things that attract me to London:

1. I don't have to live there.
2. It's not the centre of the UK.
3. It has an airport that allows me to leave the country more cheaply, than say Birmingham airport.
4. If the M25 is quiet, you can leave it fairly quickly.
5. The charming unfriendliness of its inhabitants.
6. The Science and Natural history museum.
7. Downing street. I am convinced that when first visiting in 1988 at the age of 8, I saw Maggie going past in a car. Not that it indicates any type of approval for her, I was only 8.

7 things I often say:

1. Fucks sake
2. Like
3. Bollocks
4. Pehaps
5. For goodness sake (not sure why it's not "Gods sake", I'm not religious, but maybe I'm hedging my bets)
6. Tosser (I have a way with words, not a good way, but a way never the less)
7. Fair enough

7 books that I love:

Love is perhaps too strong a word for some of these, and this is off the top of my head.

1. 1984 by George Orwell
2. Money by Martin Amis
3. Live TV! The story of Tabloid TV by Chris Horrie & Adam Nathan
4. Enduring Love by Ian McEwan
5. Lenin's Tomb by David Remnick
6. The Wind up Bird Chronicle by Haruki Murakami
7. Servants of the People by Andrew Rawnsley

7 movies I watch over and over again:

1. Zulu. When I was 8 or 9, I used to watch this at my Nan’s al the time.
2. Masters of the Universe. 11 Years old or so.
3. La Haine. Watched this a fair few times, the DJ scene is the best.
4. Warriors. Used to watch this loads before going out with my mates when we were 15/16 (we didn't think we were them or anything sad like that).
5. South Park. At university.
6. I don't watch hardly any films anymore
7. They are too long.

Today I brought a Tabloid

2006-01-22T18:03:00.000Z

Today I brought the Daily Star, I feel shame. The Daily Mail or Sun bad enough, but the Star? Well it had a free football DVD which promised the greatest goals of all time, but was in fact a sort of history of the World Cup 1966-86.

The front cover story was "BB Preston dumped" not sure if that really is a front page story, regardless of how good Big Brother has been this year, but these tabloids have there own order and priorities. I will leave them to it from now on.

Plane Beauty

2006-01-18T23:53:00.000Z

Taken somewhere over Finland, or the sea near Finland. Someone in the Guardian said that Air travel was unglamorous these days, that may be so, but you can't take photos like this from Earth.

More Big Brother, yes, you know it makes sense

2006-01-17T16:58:00.000Z

Excellent piece on Big Brother here: "I'm no Expert"

Along the same lines as my post about bullying in the house earlier on in the week, but a lot more incisive. And better written, and with more style and verve. And more cleverness than I could muster. Plus it has a very clever photoshop picture montage thing, yeah. Top dollar.

Sven-Göran Eriksson: Greedy and Stupid

2006-01-16T12:23:00.000Z

Simon Barnes in The Times:

AT THE HEART OF EVERY con trick lies one important truth: you can’t con an innocent person. The sucker must be hooked by means of his own greed, by the deal that’s just slightly too good to be true, by the glorious heady feeling that he’s getting something for nothing.
And that is the core truth of the News of the World’s entrapment of Sven-Göran Eriksson. You can make whatever judgment you like of the newspaper’s tactics; the fact is, they wouldn’t have worked if Eriksson was not (a) greedy and (b) stupid. Without those two inextricably linked character flaws, the famous fake sheikh of tabloid journalism would have had nowhere to put the lever.

How very ouch, but how very true.

Big Brother, again: Liberal snobbishness

2006-01-15T14:20:00.000Z

I was going to write something on the subject of the media and their disdain for Big Brother today. I'd already written a brief comment on this subject on Aaronovitch's blog. Further comment is now unnecessary as Nick Cohen has written pretty much what I was going to, but with more verve and less grammatical errors. My annoyance was that Galloway could spout things such as the Iraqi people not hating Saddam, Praise Saddam, endorse other dictators etc. That is acceptable, but God Forbid he go on a television show as tawdry as Big Brother. Anyway, here is the link to Cohens article in today's Observer:

'Galloway can no longer count on the indulgence of polite society'

"George Galloway and his backers in the Socialist Workers Party are finished now. The alliance they organised between the Trotskyist far left and the Islamic far right, which produced the most disgraceful protest movement since the Thirties, can no longer count on the indulgence of polite society.

Was it Galloway's support for every anti-American tyrant on the planet that did for him? Not at all. He could salute the 'courage, strength and indefatigability' of Saddam Hussein, Tariq Aziz and Bashar al-Assad with impunity. How about his apologetics for the 'martyrs' of al-Qaeda and the Baath Party who represent everything the liberal-left has been against since the Enlightenment? No, not at all, that was fine, too. Or perhaps his sickening attacks on 'quisling' Iraqi trade unionists when they were being murdered by those same al-Qaeda and Baathist terrorists?

Once again, polite society found no reason to take offence. Indeed, it cheered itself hoarse when Galloway dodged pertinent questions from US senators about how many starving Iraqi children had seen the profits from the option to buy 23 million barrels of oil Saddam gave his charity.

The liberal media have turned on Galloway because of a far more heinous crime: his appearance on Celebrity Big Brother."

and

"There is obviously an element of bourgeois snobbery about prole-TV at work here."

The snobbishness doesn't stop them analysing every aspect of it, and therefore watching it as much as everyone else though, does it?

Finally

"Still, aren't they weird? The liberals who think it is worse to appear on a TV show than in the court of a fascist tyrant"

Galloway Cat video

2006-01-14T13:17:00.000Z

Galloway is a firebrand cat, meow.

From, and created by The Daily Ablution

Big Brother 2: Galloway: The epitome of dignity

2006-01-13T13:40:00.000Z

People of Bethnal & Bow, your member of parliament, George Galloway.

Interesting few days for gorgeous George. Recently for the science task he became Big brothers lab assistant, where he had to make sure the others in the house were following Big Brothers orders while he got to swan around in a white lab coat smoking a cigar like a pseudo Castro. Not that I'm suggesting he enjoyed leading the people and barking commands at, them such as imploring Faria "I had to sell my story" Alam to keep the spinach cart at her side at all times, please!, or that he was enjoying in any way playing dictator or Big Brothers lackey.

Big Brother took its title and concept from Orwell'’s book that attacked totalitarian states, the USSR being the obvious target. George has professed that the end of that Big Brother state in 1991 was "the biggest catastrophe of my life", well at least he's found another Big Brother to take its place, although this time a TV show. From the USSR to Channel 4. (Didn't rhyme did it? Oh well, close)

And now he's pretending to be a cat. One of the oddest moments in TV perhaps. Sticking his tongue out, the faces, the noises, it was just weird.

Big Brother: Bullying and hypocrisy

2006-01-13T11:30:00.000Z

It's been quite uncomfortable viewing watching Jodie Marsh being bullied in the Big Brother house. Regardless of her faults as a person, it's been thoroughly unpleasant and at times bizarre, with the repellent Pete Burns and pathetic Michael Barrymore, of all people, criticising her and suggesting she listen to their advice. She has been unable to answer back, have an opinion (regardless how stupid) or talk, without being subject to more hostile abuse, and has the indignity of being labelled a "wicked" person by George Galloway, a man who it could be argued has often been a cheerleader for wicked leaders.

In today’s Guardian Germaine Greer stands up for Jodie; "Lay off poor Jodie, you big bullies"

The housemates have identified her as vulnerable and have piled on, baying and snapping like hyenas. Like the little ape, she is watchful, tearful, ingratiating, manipulative, outfoxed and outnumbered. Nothing she says or does can prevent the fangs tearing into her flesh.

While...

The males, meanwhile, scream and chatter at her, unmindful that what is pouring from their mouths is vicious nonsense. She tries to defend herself, by uselessly reiterating her point of view. Even Michael Barrymore keeps telling her to shut up and listen to his mumbled drivel. The adult females behave exactly as simian females would: they leave her to the tender mercies of the males. The worst bully - so vain that he doesn't suspect how savagely he is being cut down to size by Big Brother - is George Galloway, who is actually blaming Jodie for the fact that Barrymore keeps collapsing in fits of blubbering. Anyone who can remember what a thoroughly supercilious and nasty performer Barrymore always was, must watch unmoved as he dissolves in snot and tears. For Galloway to blame Barrymore's pathetic condition on Jodie Marsh is outrageous.

And she has a pop at Pete Burns too, and echoes my sentiments:

Pete Burns, tottering about bent-kneed in his high heels, displaying his chimp arse through his semi-transparent tights, and demanding the right to spend an hour each day in one of only two toilets for 11 people, some of whom are now being forced to vomit repeatedly, is not like anyone I know. He is not even like himself. He is a hideous chimera, and he knows it. His hatred of Jodie stems from his recognition of a kindred spirit. But Jodie is only half as fake as he is, and nowhere near as badly scarred. One day soon Jodie will wash her face and get a life.

I hope she does, for her own sake.

I'd like to see "monkey suited" Pete Burns get the boot tonight, tosser. Galloway can stay in, to diminish further any "Respect" anyone had for him in the first place. Meow.

David Aaronovitch Blog

2006-01-12T14:52:00.000Z

The Blog

At last a blog from one of the sanest political journalists.

Not sure about the list of resources; Google, Multi Map, BBC News etc, not very useful considering the ubiquity of these sites, as good as they are. The second hand bookshop links look useful though, and just as websites for second hand book shops should look, odd HTML, second hand looking.

Linking to my site is useful as well don't you know? Good to have someone from a former Polytechnic on your blog roll.

Books I done read:2005

2006-01-10T15:15:00.000Z

Copying Jah Jah Dub, I have decided to look back at all the many books (about 30) I have read over the year that was 2005. Though I doubt my reviews, overviews or whatever will be as well written or intelligent as I went to a former Poly, not Oxford. So will get going with this venture soon, the anticipation. I may look at albums and things on TV as well, yeah, keep the content flowing.

Finland

2006-01-09T12:13:00.000Z

Pictures of my holiday to Finland. Bad food and expense aside, good place, especially for those melon collie types, there is no daylight really. Don't go in you have SAD. And please don't go there on your infantile package holidays in your matching ski suits (courtesy of the tour operator), whilst standing around doing nothing but from moan about the cold. What did you expect you dumbass Daily Mail readers? There was the worst of England on display, it has to be said.

Looks a bit like the front cover of "The wind up Bird Chronicle, don't you think? I never think.

Person on a plastic tray.

A slope that people go down on plastic things.

A Reindeer, they are partial to this animal in Finland.

Crap picture

The moon, I think.

A wig wam

Tom Wolfe and the Bonfire of the exclamation mark

2006-01-05T11:26:00.000Z

120 in the first 8 pages, yes i counted them all, and i would say only about 3 or 4 were neccessary, I couldn't cope with it, gave up after the first chapter. Shall i stick with it though? Got a good mind to cut out all the unneccessary ! marks and put them on a bonfire, bonfire of the exclamation mark. Maybe it's some clever Literary device that I dont understand. More is less, after 8 pages i never wanted to see another one again.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There all 120

Update

Finished the big bastard off. It wasn't as great as I had been led to believe and the ending isn't satisfying, and seems out of keeping with what came before. If you read this kind of plot driven book you want a conclusive finish, where things are not left up in the air.

The quality of the writing isn't too great either, and the descriptions and similies arn't particulary brilliant. Wolfe is said to have got New York in the 80's and all it's characteristics spot on, that may be, but Amis does the dark underbelly of 80's London far better in "London Fields" even though they are stylistically Oceans apart.

For all the acclaim I finished the the last page sitting in a desolate Helsinki Airport on Xmas Eve thinking probably not worth the effort. I like sitting in empty Airports, it's a hobby.

Oh, and relentless exclamation marks. After a couple of chapters they no longer bothered me, I just blocked them out.

Wanna go Helsinki

2005-12-26T12:00:00.000Z

Quiet around here as of late as I have been in North Finland, avoiding Santa, Finnish food and trying to fall down steep hills on a plastic tray.

I hope you all have a wonderful boxing day fighting whoever you can. I am off for 12 rounds at my local gym with a man who looks like Bobby Davro and Anne Widdecombes love child.

I might post pictures of Finland, as there is no daylight. You appreciate daylight when there is none. You also appreciate real snow when you come back to this country and there is none. You also appreciate not living in London when you land at Heathrow on Christmas Eve and people are as miserable and unfriendly as you expect Londoners to be, even at this festive time.

Comments

2005-12-14T22:21:00.000Z

So yeah, I fucked up the comments section of this blog, silly me. I came on one day to post and saw a new link to click; "Moderate comments", so being that I like new things, and they excite me, I clicked it and enabled it. I didn't realise that this action of great folly would result in me having to approve comments before I post them, wow power! So all 8 comments left- yes that many- were left hanging in the ether, or more aptly (if I am going to try a religous analogy) pugatory, waiting for me to send them to heaven (My blog) or Hell (Somewhere less interesting, Telford perhaps). So, I have changed it back so you can leave coments without my prior approval, even if they are stupid and of no merit, or of more merit than my posts.

Danny Williams vs. Audley Harrison

2005-12-10T22:55:00.000Z

"Danny's an underachiever. Whenever the time has come for him to step up and show what he's got he has failed."

"I refuse to lose to a club fighter such as Danny Williams because that's all he is. After my beating Danny, you really should consider hanging up your gloves."

Audley Harrison

The hubris spouted by boxers makes their defeats humorous affairs. I thought Williams would win, based purely on the the inept displays I saw from Harrison when he was ripping off the BBC. Plus Williams for all his flaws, has a a big scalp to his name, Mike Tyson.

Meme apparantly, whatever that means

2005-12-10T20:12:00.000Z

From Normblog

1. My uncle once: Was in the Royal Navy.

2. Never in my life: Have I tried class A drugs.

3. When I was five: I started at a Catholic school, even though I'm not Catholic.

4. High School is: Probably one of the better times of your life, even though you don't realise this at the time.

5. My parents are: A man and a Woman, one on the Right, one of the Left, me in the centre.

6. I once met: Graham Taylor re-opening our Leisure centre bar.

7. There's this girl I know who: Is Beautiful, Intelligent, funny, a classy dresser, and a lovely person.

8. Once, at a bar: A Female rubbed a plastic Halloween Devil stick between my legs.

9. Last night: I had the odd experience of having a hangover at 10pm, drinking in the day isn't good.

10. Next time I go to church: Will not be for reasons of religous belief.

11. When I turn my head left, I see: A window, with curtains, and a blind pulled down, it's dark outside.

12. When I turn my head right, I see: A phone, a Coke can, a tiny pair of wellies and a shelf.

13. How many days until my birthday?: I don't know I am too stupid to work it out.

14. If I was a character written by Shakespeare I'd be: The fool from King Lear

15. By this time next year: I hope to have a good Job and be happy in general.

16. A better name for me would be: Edmundo, because I like it's sillyness.

17. I have a hard time understanding: Maths

18. If I ever go back to school I: Will try harder at Maths.

19. You know I like you if: I take the piss out of you alot.

20. If I won an award, the first person I'd thank would be: Whoever helped me most to win it.

21. Take my advice: Don't piss about at School.

22. My ideal breakfast is: Don't eat it anymore, but I would say Weetos.

23. If you visit my hometown: You will think it is beautiful.

24. Why won't someone: Make life less complicated.

25. If you spend the night at my house: You will be very happy in the Morning.

26. I'd stop my wedding: If i felt the need to ever get married, well maybe.

27. The world could do without: Too much consumerism.

28. I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: Watch Formula 1, It's boring these days.

29. Paper clips are more useful than: Those red tags with plastic and string that hold documents together, they are rubbish.

30. If I do anything well, it is: Think too much.

31. And by the way: Read my blog.

World Cup Draw

2005-12-09T21:40:00.000Z

England get it easy, or so it seems. Paraguay, Sweden and Trinidad and Tobago. We should (We as in the English) qualify and win the group. It is a far easier looking group than out "Group of death" in 2002, from which we still won the group. Sweden will pose the biggest problem, but it is about time we beat them, it's been a long time, more years than I know.

Only in America...

2005-12-09T09:54:00.000Z

...could there potentially be a contest between Arnold Schwarzenegger and Mel Gibson for the governorship of California (or Kalifornia, if you're muscular and Austrian). Not likely, but still, only....

Gibson cast as lethal weapon to terminate Schwarzenegger

Moths go to the Moon please

2005-12-08T12:20:00.000Z

I was informed at work that Moths are attracted to light because they are attracted to the moon. I’m not sure about the validity of this information, but it poses questions in my mind. What if all the lights in the world were turned off, would they then fly to the Moon? Obviously it’s too far for them. Maybe NASA, with the public good in mind, could put them on a spaceship to the moon. When they get there though, the Moon will no longer be bright, but dull, so then they will have to find something else to fly to, and this could prove expensive to keep flying them off to other bright objects in the sky. Would be a fantastical waste of money though.

I don’t much like moths though; their obsession with lights is infantile, and they are a thoroughly annoying aspect of summer nights, keeping me awake by flying around into windows and walls. Send them to the Moon, be gone.

Is It Ethical to be Ethical? Leo Hickman

2005-12-06T13:22:00.000Z

Is it OK... to have a Christmas Tree?
Is it OK ... to go skiing?
Is it OK ... to keep a cat?
Should I ... be buried or cremated? Ethical dying
Is it OK...to waste trees to print such tripe?

Next week: Is It OK... to do anything at all?

Death to Advertising Surveys

2005-12-06T11:35:00.000Z

No, no, no. What part of "No" don't you understand?

Words to Hate: "Podcast"

2005-12-05T15:59:00.000Z

Yeah, what a crock of shit this term is. Along with new fandangled technology comes the inevitable loathsome jargon. It’s just more cack mouthed double speak, no better than much loved management speak, your blue windows cleaning or whatever it is, thinking. I’m sure it’s a word the Oxford Dictionary can live without.

Why not broadcast? It’s not as If you have to download it to your I-Pod in order to listen to it, and I don’t care about the technicalities here, sod ‘em.

What next? Pod song, pod file, pea pod. Pfft. Stop it now, you sad techy twats.

I can listen to audio on the Internet without all this business, and download It onto my I-Pod as well, if I had one. What started as abuse aimed at a word has become abuse aimed at the actual entity Itself, If you can call it an entity.

“Podsafe” It gets worse.

Michael Jackson Computer game

2005-12-03T16:50:00.000Z

"During each round, as Michael fights off the enemies, he will find some of the children who are held captive. He must touch each of them in order to free them. Some children give Michael special items"

Unfortunate description

"Later in each round, Michael's pet chimpanzee Bubbles will be seen moving about and if he touches Bubbles, he will turn into a powerful robot called Moonwalker."

Ok.

From Klow.com

Happiness is a Cigar called misery

2005-12-02T11:15:00.000Z

A blank page in front of me, what to write? Happiness writes white, it doesn't show on the page. London Fields by Martin Amis. Mostly true of fiction in general. Novels and their Characters may be happy at junctures. Mostly though, it's misery.

The same with the news. Bad news sells Newspapers, unhappiness sells books. Maybe a generalisation, but I think this is the case, and it's jading my world view. I need to read about positive happenings and outcomes, they do exist.

Jamie Oliver & Turkey Twizzlers

2005-12-01T14:13:00.000Z

If I owned a Turkey I would call it Twizzler. And if Jamie Oliver ever popped round for dinner that is what he would eat, and if the fat tongued mockney didn't like it, he could go hungry.

Abusing Jamie Oliver aside, the boys done good. And here is the problem; for every 21 Restaurant venture, Jamie’s school dinner’s lark, he has to go and lose any good will I have towards him by doing another moronic Sainbury's advert. Look at the latest one; It informs us that we are nearly always asleep, even when we shop. Is this proven fact? Where do Sainsbury's get off telling us when we are sleeping?

Anyway, Turkey Twizzlers don't look appetising; look at them, they're like some form of demonic tapeworm.

Pet Taxidermy

2005-11-30T10:27:00.000Z

"I just wanted to tell you and your staff Thank You for your work on Petunia... I am extremely happy with the results. I have gotten many unique responses when people have seen her. The best one was "I thought you told me your cat died?" It is so good to have her back home with me."

"Myself and my family could not be any happier with the results of what you did with misty. Thank you for the care you put into her, It feels like we have a complete family again. I can't wait to show her off now. I will highly recommend your services to anyone thinking of another alternative. And YES when I do come home or when I wake up and before I go to bed I always take a few moments out to talk to her just like before. Thanks again!!!!!!"

Well, it's an option.

Sort out this Pensions mess your-self

2005-11-29T12:44:00.000Z

Be Pension Minister for the day by doing this quiz/Interactive thing from the TUC website (Union people, not biscuit brand. I have no Idea what TUC biscuits make of pensions) on the Pension “crisis”. What would you do?

My proposals largely pissed off Employers, Pension experts and Women, but the TUC were relatively happy with what I suggested.

Results

I recommended the state pension should stay at 65 and people should be compelled to contribute to a work pension scheme. It has to be done, stop them moaning about not having money for cruises and the like in the future (Don’t think the payout will be that good though). Quite statist really, forcing people to save. I’m not a Libertarian it seems. Maybe Gordon Brown will follow the same route.

Pensions are a tedious business to us youngsters. Better to spend while you have it, worry about old age later, when it arrives and it’s too late. Let the kids look after you, move into their homes, raid the fridge, alcohol cabinet. Make up for their behaviour as youth. Not even had children yet, it’s a good bit of forward planning though.

It’s what happens in other countries, a duty, one that should be brought in when I get to end age, but not before, obviously.

Cannon & Ball Autobiography

2005-11-26T21:06:00.000Z

A tribute from an Amazon reviewer:

"Tommy and Bobby are the last of the a very special breed of entertainers. They brought joy and happiness to millions without being crued or stooping to blue humour. While they struggled to deal with being rich and famous they fell out and hardly spoke to each other for years. Apart from when they were on the stage making the world laugh which they still do to this day. - I have waited twenty years for this book to be published, it was worth the wait."

Here here. The tear brought to thine eyes on reading that. Keep on flowing tears.

Andrew Flintoff Drunk & Reinaldo de Silva

2005-11-20T18:40:00.000Z

It seems people still can't get enought of pictures of an Inebriated Andrew Flintoff. Most my hits are coming from people searching for "Flintoff drunk". Sorry, but i only have the one picture of him drunk, and that was taken from somewhere else. But carry on. Also, people are rather fond of looking for pictures of Peter Mandelsons partner, Reinaldo de Silva, Interesting. None here, except a fetching picture of a Mustachioed Mandy.

Ian McEwan "Enduring Love": First Chapter

2005-11-16T00:07:00.000Z

This is the good stuff yo. Perhaps the best opening chapter of any novel. Gripping.

Chapter 1, part 1

Chapter 1, part 2

From the Randomhouse website.